My stepson Serg recently celebrated a birthday. I wanted this one to be real special. So, with the financial help of my best friend Mr. Snow, we managed to purchase sixty-percent ownership of an up-and coming Spanish soccer team. We moved the squad to America and set up a state-of-the-art training facility. Serg was so excited. He could barely keep his hands off of me for days on end after I had made the purchase. I was excited, too: my best buddy Mr. Snow had all kinds of awesome plans and ideas for the team moving forward. One of those brilliant ideas was to promote the soccer team’s assistant, Coach Patrick, to head coach.

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